Where has the time gone? - Hiatus

Today's Weigh-in: 71.9 kgs

Lost since January 8th 2012: 9.1 kgs

I am back!!! Kind of!!! I have been not wanting to write on this blog for a while because I haven't been following the Dukan Diet since June. I have been busy, on vacation, sick, and just lazy. The good news, which seems to be what I am holding on to lately is.... I haven't gained weight!!! 

Actually I did gain weight during my vacation, but it went back down easily when I came home. What I think is a great accomplishment, and good news for people on Dukan, is that if you DO NOT GO CRAZY BINGE EATING, that it is not too hard to keep the weight off. You just need to be vigilant.

The Bad News is I haven't reached the 10 kgs mark yet. I am awfully close, but not there yet. So, that is the big goal now. I want to concentrate my efforts on that. I won't promise a date, neither to me or you. I won't force myself back on this diet, especially because I am in the process of moving and my dad is coming to visit this weekend. 

I will check back once I have reached my goal. 

Hope your diets are going great!! I have been reading the blogs and have seen some good advances and some minor set backs. The good thing is we are all still working at it. Which is what I consider really important.

xoxo

F. 

Attack - Day 2

Today's Weigh-in: 72.2 kgs

Lost since January 8th 2012: 8.8 kgs

Yippie!!! Daily loss of 0.4 kgs!!! Not as much as previous attacks. But pretty good. I was good today too.. with a loooong walk as well. I hope for a loss for tomorrow. 


I think I am pretty much back on track. Moving to Cruise tomorrow. I decided for only 3 days of attack, and will go on with PV until my mom leaves. The bad news (good news too) is that I am going on a trip for 10 days on the 24th...  I will try my best to stay on track. Hopefully I can do what I did in India. For me it is somehow easier to control what I eat when I travel. I guess I am so busy that I eat less. I hope this will be the case on this trip as well.


I guess that the big lesson I learnt from this whole process, which Dukan allowed me, was to control myself. I am now able to eat a bit of something I like. I can have just a square of dark chocolate, and that is enough. I am not prone to binges. I think  that is important. Mostly because my body never allowed for it. My metabolism is so bad that what I would consider a binge, for most people is just a normal meal, or snack. I am learning to eat for my body type. Most of all though, my metabolism is improving due to the exercise. I think that is the most important thing. If you like to eat, then learn to move more. It can really allow for a more pleasurable balance. 


It is going slow, but it is going.. and that is what counts!!! 


How is your diet today?


xoxo

Attack - Day 1

Today's Weigh-in: 72.6 kgs

Lost since January 8th 2012: 8.4 kgs

Absolutely no loss on my first day. What???? I think I didn't drink enough water. I drank too much diet coke. It doesn't make much sense. But I don't care. I am in the middle of day 2 now. So far, so good. I even took my mom to buy some glorious pizza al taglio and I didn't mind at all. 

The thing is I also might be bloated. It's hot and humid here and we have been walking around a lot. I am not too worried. I am going to do a total of 3 days of Attack and then go into Cruise. 

How are your diets going?

xoxo

Hanging in there

Today's Weigh-in: 72.6 kgs

Lost since January 8th 2012: 8.4 kgs

I haven't been able to get back on the horse. I have been able to keep a stable weight though at 72.6 kgs. I know that when I came back from India I was at 71.6, but that wasn't a real weight, it was probably just product of not having really eaten for a couple of days. 


I am planning on going back. I plan every day. Truth is my will power is not that strong these days. It doesn't help that I feel really good at the weight I am at. Compared to what I felt like before. I am not saying I want to stay at this weight. I have sooo much to go. My mom is here though. She hasn't been to Italy for 4 years, and although she is super supportive of my diet, and quite obsessed with dieting herself (she needs to lose about 2kgs) I have wanted her to take advantage of her stay here. We are walking around a lot and we always have only veggies for dinner, and watch what we eat, but still, to lose weight I need to go back on Dukan. 


Mentally I am not in the right space. I know that it's not an excuse, Dukan DIetress even told me that, and she is right. I should just get back on track, no excuses. I am getting there. I will try tomorrow. For now I am really happy it has been a month and I am sticking to my weight. I guess that is always the biggest fear for when one stops being on a diet, and I am really proud of that, because once I do get to my target weight, I really feel now that I can stay there. 


WIll update tomorrow, hopefully with good news, and with the first day of attack behind me. How is everyone else's dieting?


xoxox

Day ?

Today's Weigh-in: ?

Lost since January 8th 2012: around 9 kilos

I haven't been able to get the hang of things. I am not OUT of the diet, but I am not IN a diet either. I don't really  know how to get back to being strict. I am eating healthy, definitely low-carb, but I am not following a strict Dos and Don'ts list, which has me feeling out of it. The good news is that even feeling like this I am holding on to the loss and maybe even advancing a bit, especially with the exercise. But I have the feeling it isn't successful if it isn't following some sort of strict diet. 

How do I get back on track? I guess it will come to me. I know what the diet state of mind is, and I am definitely not in it. I know it will come around; I will snap out of whatever mood I am now eventually, especially when I get through with this nasty head cold. 


So, please bare with me while I navigate these uncertain waters. How are your diets going?


btw: I have been on a Dukan 2.0 for 2 months now, although I think I will put the counter back to zero when I get back in the mood. Official start date will always be Jan 8.

Day 58 - Eating less

Today's Weigh-in: 71.6 kgs

Lost since January 8th 2012: 9.4 kgs

I cannot believe how close I am to the half-way mark. It is a weird feeling. Being so happy to have worked this hard to accomplish something I really wanted, but then also knowing there is so much more to go. I haven't been very good about following Dukan strictly since I got back. I haven't gotten the strength or will-power to be strict. I do have a little of a post-travel flu, which has me basically bed-ridden and tired. In fact the reason I have probably lost 1 more kilo since I got back is because I have not eaten much. 

I have bootcamp class tomorrow and I really want to go, so I need to get back to health and then go back to a more strict set of rules. I must say that it has been nice losing weight eating anything I want. They way it worked was just that I wasn't hungry so I would eat just a little bit of something I wanted, that's it. I wish I could say I could keep this up all the way to my goal-weight, but since I know that it is unlikely, then I need to put some structure to my dieting. 

We will see how that goes! For now I am happy with the results!!! 

Day 56? - Back from India

Today's Weigh-in: 72.6 kgs

Lost since January 8th 2012: 8.4 kgs


Hello all!!! I am back from vacation. Possibly one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences of my life. Still trying to figure it all out and digest it. I don't have words for the emotions this trip has given me. They do say India is a magical place, I had no clue just how much it would mean for me. 


The other good thing is I lost weight! Not too much. Just around 2 kgs. But that isn't bad, considering I wasn't sick or anything. So YIPPIE!!!!


I have to go to the supermarket and back for more Dukan. I am even more committed than I was before I left. I guess it is from reaching another mini-goal and being so close to mid-way!! Only 1.6 kilos to go to a 10 kgs loss!!!


Now I am just looking forward to reading what everyone else has been up to and all the progress that has been going on!


Namaste!

Day 40 Cruise - Unscheduled diet break

I still haven't gone below the 74, but it doesn't surprise me since I haven't really been able to follow any kind of diet for the past two days. I don't feel bad, it wasn't a situation I could control in any way, so I ate what was available. I didn't over eat, I didn't binge, I just ate outside of the diet. 

Today it is back to normal. I couldn't start the little attack I wanted yesterday, and I do not have any food in the house today, so I will have to do it for only two days.

a beautiful day

There is just one thing I realized, which makes me happy. I have not been moving towards my goal really fast, there have been hiccups along the way, but the frame of mind I am in is what tells me that I will continue. I don't think, well since I already lost two days what is the point? I know I am on a diet until I reach my end goal. It doesn't matter if there is an unscheduled detour, or if I go on vacation, or if I just fall off the wagon. I am in this for the long haul. 

This feeling gives me hope, because I don't think I had ever had such determination or commitment to losing weight. On Monday I start bootcamp again, even if it will be interrupted by my trip, but then I will continue full force.

Hope everyone else is having a healthy day!

Day 36 Cruise - out of it

I weighed myself this morning, but I don't remember the number. It isn't the real thing anyway. I have been feeling out of sorts all weekend, and it has continued on through the beginning of the week. 

I kind of hate how my body behaves this part of the month. I went to an endocrinologist last year and she said that all the symptoms I had would disappear if I lost 10% of my body weight. I went to her because I didn't seem able to lose weight, no matter what, so you can tell she didn't believe me and also that she was no help at all. 

I am almost at that 10% loss, I haven't really gotten there  yet. I am about 1 kilo away. I am not feeling defeated, I am not feeling like I want to give up, not at all. I am just feeling depressed. It probably doesn't even have anything to do with the diet. It is just the way it is. Hopefully at the 10% loss and beyond I will start feeling I have even more control over my body, no matter what day in the monthly cycle I am on. 

I am going on a 10 day trip next week, and I am probably going to stray from the strictness of the diet. I will be walking all day though, waking early, going to bed late. I am positive I won't gain weight, I just hope I can lose some. Before I go I am going on a mini attack. Maybe 3 days starting this Friday. 

It is TOTM soon, and I know my body is already getting ready to piss me off. 

What a complicated relationship we have!

Hope everyone else is having beautiful days of careless dieting!

Day 32 Cruise - 1 Month!

Today's Weigh-in: 74 kgs

Lost since January 8th 2012: 7 kgs
Lost since March 20th: 3.7 kgs

Today it has been a month! My first month on Dukan Diet 2.0 and I have lost 3.7 kgs, which is a bit below my 4 kgs a month goal, but still not totally despicable. My first time around on Dukan, before I had to take a break due to the fact I basically didn't have a kitchen and then my dad came to visit, I lasted 41 days and lost 4.4 kgs. During my break I put some of that back on, but it rapidly came off when I started Dukan 2.0. 


This months has been LONG! It is not the diet I mind, I have been on a diet for most of my life in one way or another. Even when I wasn't I was thinking that I had to be, so it would be the same thing. I like being on a diet because at least I am in control. It just feels long because I am way impatient, I wanna be thinner NOW, I wanna look good NOW. 


It is not that being thinner will make my life easier. There is a lot I need to fix to make myself happy, but losing weight is definitely a conduit. I have a LOT to fix, just because I am sort of aimless right now. I don't have a clue what I am doing with my life, and it doesn't seem like I will get a solution any time soon, but at least I do have a goal now. The way I think of it is, even if I didn't do much with 2012, let it at least be the year when I lost those annoying and self-deprecating 20 kilos. 


Those 20 kilos have been weighing me down in more ways than the obvious. I have been hiding behind being fat, as if it wasn't my fault. I couldn't help it, I didn't even eat that much. And part of that is true, it doesn't take much to make me gain weight, but it shouldn't be an excuse. Some of it wasn't my fault, and part of what wasn't my fault got fixed and now I have no excuses. I can't keep on blaming my life on things I can't control, nor keep on hiding from life, just because I don't feel pretty. 


I know that a big part of my insecurities have come from gaining weight, but not all of them. So this will be the year I lose the 20 kilos of fat, but also the 20 kilos of insecurities and self blame. I am 35% there, can't wait to see what the next 65% will bring.

Day 31 Cruise - Naughty but nice

Today's Weigh-in: 74.1 kgs

Lost since January 8th 2012: 6.9 kgs


First of all, I am no longer tracking gains. They make me sad and they are not really gains. It takes as much work to gain weight as it does to take it off. I mean, not exactly. It is much easier to eat all you want than controlling what you eat, but you don't gain a kilo over-night unless you really really over did it. Drs and Nutritionists say it takes 3500 calories to gain a pound. So if to maintain you would eat 2000 calories, it means you would have to take in 5500 calories in one day to gain a pound, which isn't even half a kilo. 


If you are behaving, a gain could be anything, it isn't real. If you are misbehaving then it is another story. The only reason I still think it is good to weigh yourself each day, is to keep track of these fluctuations. You might be doing something wrong without knowing. Maybe that cheese you bought has more calories than you thought. Maybe, the meat you bought is more fatty. You might be taking in too much salt, eating too much yogurt. The important thing is that the scale keeps you honest. So, even if it takes a LOT to gain a pound over night, it doesn't take that much to gain it over a few days.

Palazzo Barberini, from my sight-seeing on Sunday

I am saying all this because I had a naughty day. It was brought on by not having lunch and going sightseeing for hours, so I bought a piece of pizza al taglio on my way home because I was starving. The thing is, later that night I wasn't even hungry anymore, but I had some speck which is smoked prosciutto. It wasn't that bad if you count the calories consumed that day, but you can tell it is just bad behavior brought on by bad behavior. Plus, speck is really really salty, so I suffered some bloating the days after. 

The bad thing is not that I fell off the wagon, it is the thought process behind the falling off the wagon. I just wanted to misbehave. I was almost masochistic about it. In any case it is over with. I got it out of my system and I am back on track. It just makes you wonder, the hoarding mentality, of thinking, well I screwed up, I might as well eat all I can find now. Ok, I didn't eat all I could find, but I thought about it. 


I honestly believe a few cheat meals are not a bad idea. They actually give your body a jolt, especially when you hit a plateau. When they are rational, when they are planned, when they are controlled, it is not bad to eat something not in the diet. Not often. Not more than once a week, preferably much less than that. What kind of scared me was that I didn't care about myself when I made the decision of eating more. I wasn't hungry. Eating the pizza isn't what bothers me, I can deal with that and not feel guilty. It was what came after. That is what is dangerous for a diet. 


The important thing is not to feel defeated by one mishap. The goal is so much more important than anything else. If you are on this journey it is because it really matters. If you are really willing to lose the weight, the bigger picture is what counts. Your weight will fluctuate, you will be happy some days, less happy others, but if you keep at it, if it is really more important to you to lose weight than to eat a piece of pizza, you will get back on track and you will lose the weight. 


One more thing, I got a massive headache the day after I had the pizza. I guess it was the wheat. Crazy how I went back to eating right and it was gone. 

Day 27 Cruise - My body and I

Today's Weigh-in: 74.5 kgs

Lost since January 8th 2012: 6.5 kgs


We all know how it goes: you lose a bit, you stop, you linger, you bounce, you push, you lose again. 
It is starting to feel normal. Almost a month into this second diet stint and I am getting used to it. I wake up every morning, look at the scale, and I already know before getting on it where the scale is going to go. I know if I am due a loss, or just a linger, or maybe even a slight gain. 
The good and happy feeling I get is that I am finally able to connect to my body. Ever since I started having issues with my thyroid I stopped knowing what my body would do. I don't think there is anything worse than feeling removed from yourself. Not knowing how your actions are going to result on your body is frightening. Having no control is frightening. Ever since I was prescribed T3 though I have been more in control. I am able to diet and lose weight. I no longer starve myself only to see myself gaining weight. 
It has been a hit and miss for sure. I had to re-learn to communicate with my body and finally I think we are having a nice relationship. I promised to treat my body well, and it has responded by looking better in the mirror. We are happy. 

Day 25 Cruise - Where are my PP Days?

Yesterday's Weigh-in: 74.4 kgs

Today's Weigh-in: 74.3 kgs

Daily Loss: 0.1 kgs


I have a confession to make. I have NOT been good about having Pure Protein days. I haven't wanted to. There is a part of me that opposes is it completely. I feel it is not good for me. That said, I am thinking that to hurry things along I will do a mini-attack a month. A person can stand a strict diet for a few days at a time, it is the no foreseeable end in sight that derails diets. 


For now, I am happy with my veggies, and I even have the occasional berries with my greek non fat yogurt. When I feel I need more fiber I have even eaten a banana, and it has been wonderful. I am counting calories though, trying to stick to 1000-1200 calories a day, just to make sure that the fruit does not make me go overboard. So I guess I haven't been Dukan strict, but it has been working nevertheless. 


As for exercise, I am on week 2 of C25K. It is really hard for me, because my knee hurts while "running" - it is more of a shuffle really - and I don't have that much strength on my left leg, but I am still doing it. Also, while boot camp is on hiatus, I am doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. Since I don't do it every day, I am only on Day 6 of Level 1. I am getting stronger though, and I am loving the fact that each time I exercise I get better. 


This week post ToTM has been nice. I prefer slow and steady, versus huge ups and downs, with the eventual Whoosh. If I could lose 150 grams every day until Goal Weight I would be soo happy. It would be nice if weight-loss was as simple as a formula, where you know exactly what to do for the desired result. Sadly it is a bit more complicated than that. But one thing is sure, if you diet and you exercise you will get there eventually. It is hard work, but if it wasn't we would all be thin.

Day 23 Cruise - 2nd Mini Goal Achieved!

Yesterday's Weigh-in: 75.6 kgs

Today's Weigh-in: 74.7 kgs

Daily Loss: 0.9kgs

FINALLY!!!! It took forever,but I got to the 74s. Hopefully the scale will not go towards 75 again! Having a Mini-Goal, besides the Big Final Goal, is a good idea, because you fight for them, with all your might. When you reach them you don't just stop though, because it was only a small step towards the final goal. You celebrate, you bask in the light of accomplishment and then you push up your sleeves and get back to work.

Losing weight is A LOT of hard work. At least for me. It is not just a mindless thing I do in the back of my mind. It is not JUST eating right, eating less, or in the case of Dukan, eating  only the allowed list of foods. For me losing weight is thinking about it ALL the time. I wish it wasn't the case, I wish it was an after thought. But the truth is, if food was just an after thought, I wouldn't need to diet. 

I am definitely hoping that once I reached the weight I want, eating the way I do, but especially exercising, will just be a part of who I am, and not an all consuming obsession. For now, I am doing everything in my power to concentrate on the Prize. For now, I am really happy about this accomplishment. I am down 3kgs since I started Dukan Cycle number 2 and looking forward to shedding the next 14 and beyond.

Day 21 Cruise - 2.6 kgs in 3 weeks

Morning Weigh-in: 75.1 kgs

Weekly Loss: 0.0 kgs

I haven't posted my weight in a while, I didn't want the influence of my "cycle" on my weight to be a deterrent to my journey. I know how hard it is for me to lose weight, I was just expecting a bigger loss than 2.5 kgs in 3 weeks. However it might be a result of all the exercise I have been doing. Fat percentage this morning was 35.8%, which is one percentage point less than last week. So since I am at the same weight I was last monday, it would mean I lost 750 grams of fat. I will take that, even if I don't trust the fat readings in my scale. I think it will be very good in the long run, when differences will be bigger and not affected by changes in water retention and other things that might affect the readings.

The other day I read that slow metabolizers (me) should avoid dairy all together, while carbs are not so bad for us. I do think dairy is bad for me, and I am trying to have it only in the morning. Maybe I should try to avoid it altogether, although it is very, very hard for me. Nothing means morning more than my non fat latte. But who knows, if it is that detrimental for me, I might be able to live without it! 

I am not on the other side of my TOM yet, so I still have hope I will see a Whoosh this week and that it will be the extra jolt I need to keep going and keep pushing. I am so determined, that even the scale isn't able to make me frown. I hadn't felt like this in a long time. I do see a difference in the mirror, I see a difference in my clothes. I feel better too and I am very much energized by the exercise. This is who I want to be. I want to continue exercising after the weight is gone, I want to continue to eat right after the weight is gone. So whatever the scale says I will keep on going, but I would be lying if I said I don't hope for a big whoosh every morning. I also wish I were a more patient woman, but maybe that is another lesson I need to learn on this journey.

Day 17 Cruise - To be a Woman!

No weight stats today.. as it is useless. I am waiting for my time of the month and even if I am weighing myself it is only out of habit and curiosity. I know what it says is not a reflection of my diet.
That said, to be a woman on a diet is HARD! When men diet, and are responsible with it, they lose weight faster and with less effort. However, that is not what bothers me. I don't mind working hard for something. What does bother me in my diet, which is why I envy dieting men, is the fluctuations on the scale. Men don't experience them, and if they do I am sure not to the degree we do.

Somebody should invent a scale that tells you how much of our weight is not really ours, but is owned by our hormones.

End of rant. For now, I am waiting anxiously for next week. I hope my patience and hard work will show.

Happy Easter!

Day 14 Cruise - Hungry

Morning Weigh-in: 75.1 kgs

Daily Loss: 0.1 kgs

Today hunger has been attacking like it hadn't in a long time. Well, it isn't really hunger. You know the feeling. You need food, but nutrition has nothing to do with it. In ketosis it doesn't happen normally. But I am a woman, and this is me on PMS! All the symptoms are alive and well, and the inexplicable need to fill a void in the middle of my stomach is here, with a vengeance. The good news is that I can snack on Dukan friendly food. 

I bought some turkey bresaola and had it with cottage cheese and some organic rye groats bread. I know it isn't very Dukanish, but it has only 30% carbs, which is really low. All the breads I saw had at least 80% carbs. It is delicious. I am giving it a try to see the effect it has on my diet. The excuse is of course PMS and the fact that Boot Camp today completely obliterated me. 

I asked my Boot Camp coach today if it is true that if you don't eat carbs and you exercise you might have a slight reduction in muscle. He said that protein creates muscle but that carbs provide energy. This is not a  surprise to me as I have been researching on the subject. Some of my research said that if you don't have any carbs that if you exercise agressively then your body might take the energy it needs from the muscle. However it is also true that among all diets, the one that provides you with the lowest reduction in muscle tissue is a low-carb, high-protein diet. My coach said he doesn't eat carbs often, and if he does they are the organic, whole grain type, but he does have oatmeal every morning. 

For the first time in the longest time I am energized. I wake up early, I am exercising a lot and I am everything but lazy, which isn't very normal for me. However, despite being so active I feel I am weak, like I don't have the energy to do all I want. I am trying to eat more and add a little bit more of energy to my life, without letting it affect my weight-loss. I am  looking to get on the other side of my Time of the Month and see a nice, friendly number on my new, shiny scale!

Day 13 Cruise - weight down, fat up?

Morning Weigh-in: 75.2 kgs

Daily Loss: 0.2 kgs


I guess that with this new scale I have managed a new way of bumming myself out in the morning!! Maybe I haven't really figured out how this whole fat measurement thing works. I was so happy last night because I stepped on the scale and my "fat weight" was down in kilos, not percentage, even if my normal weight was up (it was 11pm after all). Then this morning... UP! I even did what the instructions say, after I weighed myself as soon as I woke up, I waited 30 minutes, because that is supposed to take care of the fact you were lying down all night and move the fat around to its normal position. Well, no fun! Fat went up even further, and the weight went up to 75.4 after drinking water. I think I prefer to weigh myself while completely dehydrated, thanks!!!


In any case, I decided I don't care. I am working hard, and I am doing this. No matter what the scale says. It can't resist me forever. I will get to my next goal next week, and I will continue on the journey to achieve my TRUE weight, with a new and improved body composition. By the way, I saw on different blogs people talking about their Dukan True Weight and it not being low enough for some, or maybe too low for others. My Dukan True Weight hit right on the spot. I mean I would LOVE to go down to 56kgs, but that isn't a realistic weight I can maintain in the Long Run. At least I haven't in the past. At 61kgs I was happy, I looked fit and felt wonderful. I am not saying I won't try to get to 56 kgs, I will, and maybe a new athletic, low fat me will be able to pull it off. For now 61 is my goal. We will see what the future brings.

Day 12 Cruise - FAT!

Morning Weigh-in: 75.4 kgs

Daily Loss: 0.7 kgs


I have been reading like crazy these past few days, trying to make up my mind about FAT! I got my new scale on Thursday, and not surprisingly my body composition is far from ideal with a whopping 36.8% fat. 
The American Council on Exercise establishes the following:

Classification	Women (% fat)	Men (% fat)
Essential Fat	10-12%	2-4%
Athletes	14-20%	6-13%
Fitness	21-24%	14-17%
Acceptable	25-31%	18-25%
Obese	32% plus	25% plus

Which of course means that although my BMI is below 30 (barely) I am still obese. SIGH!
If you want to establish your fat percentage from your BMI you can use the following formula:


Adult body fat % = (1.20 × BMI) + (0.23 × Age) − (10.8 × sex*) − 5.4 
* sex is male=1 ; female=0


Which in my case gave me a Fat % of 37,57%, which is not so far from what my super expensive and cool scale gave me. I guess what this formula tells you though, is that when you lose weight you are losing fat. Which is not always the case. At least not from all I have been reading. 


Reading all I can on fitness and weight loss is giving me a headache. I studied Economics, and I must say, weight loss is much a science as Economics. In the sense that it isn't an exact science, and that everyone has a different opinion. 


The reason I have been reading up so much is because I am REALLY committed this time and I must admit I am a geek. For now I am pretty confused on the best way to lose weight while changing my body composition i.e. losing those fat kilos and increasing the lean kilos in my body. Hopefully when my research is done I will have a clearer idea and will post my findings.

Day 9 Cruise - Measuring

Morning Weigh-in: 75.5 kgs

Daily Loss: 0.6 kgs


When I saw my weight yesterday I really didn't think I had much to say. I didn't want to keep on complaining about the roller coaster that is my weight. I KNOW that after a loss, especially a big one, my weight is going to go up. It is almost like if my body is trying to test me, trying to see how bad I want it. In truth, it probably just wants to know I am not starving myself. Which sometimes I worry I might. Not on purpose of course. 


By 6pm this afternoon I had only consumed around 600 calories. I had also done Jillian Michaels 30 day shred Level 1, which burns around 200 calories. When I came home tonight I had beef with mushrooms and aubergine and some lettuce, along with a little non-fat cheese wrapped in low fat ham. I don't know if that will account for 600 - 800 more calories. I hope so. For a healthy weight loss I should consume 1200 calories net. That will allow me to lose 2 pounds a week. That would be ok for me. I don't want to lose more than 1kg a week. I doubt it is too healthy, and also I doubt it would give my skin enough time to keep up. I don't wanna be fat, but I want to be tight.

The one thing I decided to do to feel more in control of my weight's ups and downs is buy an extravagant scale. It is a Whitings Wi-Fi scale which tells you your weight but also your BMI, and your fat %. Now that I am exercising, I will be able to know if my daily gain or loss is muscle or fat. This makes me incredibly happy and I can't wait to weigh myself with it probably Friday morning.


I know I am not alone in these small "stagnation crises", which definitely helps me not freak out. All I want to know is that the hard work will pay off, so reading other people's experiences is helping me more than I can ever say. 
I hope I can help someone who is feeling frustrated at some point in their journey by successfully reaching my goal. 

Day 8 Cruise - no comment

Morning Weigh-in: 76.1 kgs

Daily Gain: 0.5 kgs


GRRRRRRRRRRR

Day 7 Cruise - same old same old

Morning Weigh-in: 75.6 kgs

Daily Gain: 0.1 kgs


Nothing much to report on the weight loss front. It was supposed to be a PV day, but I had none at home, so my vegetables were olives, and I am not sure they were allowed. In the afternoon I did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred Level 1. That made me proud, because I am definitely stronger. I probably won't see a loss tomorrow, or for the immediate future if I continue to exercise every day. But in the long run it will go down. 


In the meantime I continue. It is a bit overwhelming to think I am only 25% there. I keep on weighing myself and obsessing about it. I keep on thinking about at what moment in time I will reach a particular weight. I am pretty sure that is not so healthy. I am longing for the day this will no longer feel like a diet. That I won't have to think about it so much. 


I am going to India in May. As the date approaches I am longing to be thinner and stronger. I am already thinking of the clothes I need to buy, and hoping to look great in them. We will see.


For now... I keep on Dukaning.

Day 6 Attack - No change and some walking

Morning Weigh-in: 75.5 kgs

Daily Loss: 0 kgs


No change today. But I don't care. I am still very hopeful and really excited of where I am right now. I am happy that I came back to Dukan, after I had basically decided to quit it for good. Even today I heard from someone that the diet was very unhealthy, and that always gives me pause. But how unhealthy can it be? I mean, yes, protein (especially beef) is not good for you in such large quantities, but that is why we have to drink all the water, to help our kidneys. And it is not forever. I am sure I am not going to harm myself with this diet. Tomorrow starts the Cruise phase, and with it all those delicious vegetables. 

Michelangelo's Moses part of Papa Giulio II Mausoleum

I have already lost 5.5 kgs since January, which is the most I have ever lost on a diet, back when that was all I actually needed to lose. Now it is only the beginning of my journey, but given all my previous problems, I am just happy to be on my way.

Today I went on a tour of Michelangelo's Rome, excluding the Vatican. We visited San Pietro in Vincoli, the church that holds the famous Moses by Michelangelo. After that we headed to Piazza del Campidoglio, which he designed, and la Basilica sopra Minerva, which holds Michelangelo's Christ the Redeemer. Finally we headed to Palazzo Farnese, of which he was one of the architects. All in all a very pleasurable afternoon which involved a 3.7 km walk, and a whole lot of standing. Not really exercise.. but close enough!

Day 5 Attack - Determination brings hope, eventually

Swordfish Carpaccio dinner

Morning Weigh-in: 75.5 kgs

Daily Loss: 1.4 kgs


Pretty big loss today. Now I feel dumb for complaining! I guess all this does is teach me that if I continue being constant then the weight will go down. It is very hard for me to think that my body actually works that way. For a long time I would diet and nothing would happen. I would even gain weight in the beginning and then maybe after a month I would have lost 1 kg, maybe 2 at the most. But then demoralized I would quit the diet and the weight would creep up again.


Since 2005 I have been battling with my weight, more than ever before. I have never been able to eat normally. Not only since I have had problems with my thyroid, but even before. My metabolism has never been very fast. Sluggish doesn't begin to describe it. I wouldn't help it either though. Exercise can help speed up your  metabolism, but it was not a word in my vocabulary. So slowly but surely my weight continued increasing. 


Late last year I finally got the thyroid under control (hopefully it will stay that way). It also coincided with me moving to Italy, so I continued gaining weight. I did notice my body reverting to its former self though. WIth the thyroid problems I had become more apple shaped than I had ever been. I thought it was normal because of the increased weight. However, since successfully "solving" my thyroid problem I lost a lot of the pudge around my waist, reverting to my former pear shape. I thought I was losing weight. I was actually gaining, it was just redistributing somehow. 


January 2012 came along, and with it the usual new year's resolutions. I downloaded the Dukan book on my kindle and on January 8th, at 81 kgs, the heaviest I have ever been, my Dukan journey started. After some loss and a few weeks "forced" break, I am back.


I need to remember this big loss when my weight will surely stagnate at some point. I need to remember that even if somedays I have a gain, if I continue to follow the diet faithfully I  WILL lose weight, eventually. I must say that reading other people's blogs, especially those on my blog list, has really helped me. They are living proof that the weight will come off and give me hope that I too can be successful. So thanks to them I am back, and I have a new found determination.

Day 4 Attack - Starving myself and Fear

Morning Weigh-in: 76.9 kgs

Daily Gain: 0.1 kgs


Another gain today :( A tiny one, but still a gain. I try very hard not to take too much notice, I know my body and how irrationally it behaves. Sometimes while on a diet I might actually gain a few kgs, before going further down. I can't say I think it is the food. It can't be.  12 ounces of fat free milk and a few spoons of fat free plain yogurt CANNOT be making me gain weight. I am more thinking it could be the salt in the bresaola. Or something.


I did go to bootcamp yesterday, so I might have sore swollen muscles. In any case I am determined NOT TO GIVE UP. Hence I basically have avoided dairy after breakfast and have only had chicken for lunch and meat for dinner. This time around I am way too determined to be the best I can possibly be, and I can't be my best carrying around more than 15 kgs of overweight. Besides, I am a strong person, I fight for what I want. 


For some reason though I have always been scared to be the best I can be. When I was in my teens I was always told by older boys to call them up when I was older. Everyone has always told me I am beautiful but I have never really felt it. I was even told recently by a friend that I was pretty now, but I would be stunning if I lost the extra-weight. I am not so sure though. I know 90% of beauty comes from attitude, so what good is it really to be beautiful if you don't act like it? And also, if I COULD be beautiful, why am I so scared of it?


Part of me thinks that I rather not be loved because I am ugly, than because I am unlovable. It hurts just to write that. But I guess that is why I decided to write this blog. Maybe if I exorcise my monsters it will be easier to stay on my path. 


Hopefully the scale will be my friend again tomorrow.

Day 3 Attack - Exercise and food choices

Morning Weigh-in: 76.8 kgs

Daily Gain: 0.4 kgs


I woke up to a gain. That never makes me happy of course, especially since this is the Attack phase, but I can't say I didn't see it coming. It's the dairy. But the thing is, how can I not have dairy, if all I can have is protein and dairy? I can't eat eggs, meat, fish or chicken all day long. I just can't.


Today was not much different from yesterday. I might have slightly over done it with the dairy today too. I am not sure though. I am pretty much within what the Dukan book prescribes, but I think my body doesn't take it well. I should be permanently in a no carb, no diary diet. I am pretty sure I can live without carbs, but dairy is another story. My morning latte makes me way too happy.

on my walk home from Boot Camp

The good thing is I went to Boot Camp today. Painful, glorious Boot Camp. I must say I never thought I would like it this much. I am not an exercise kind of person. But knowing that each week I get stronger and stronger makes me happy, and makes me work as hard as I can. Now I have to work at exercising the other 5 days of the week. 


All in all I think I the scale should show a lower number tomorrow. We will see. I am trying to not to feel I am depriving myself. I am glad to be doing something good for my body, and I want to feel like this is normal, not count the days until it is over (which I inevitably do of course).

Day 2 Attack - Rest and probably too much dairy

Morning Weigh-in: 76.4 kgs

Daily Loss: 1 kgs

I love the first day of a diet, you always start with a BANG!! That said, I know I didn't really lose much, I probably just shed a lot of water weight. But I will take what I can, especially because I doubt I will be very successful tomorrow. The great thing is I am were I left off when I left the Dukan diet in February and that I reached my first mini-goal!

I went shopping for groceries today, trying to keep in mind also the lessons learnt from "Wheat Belly". I was going to buy the fake crab but when I read the label it said it contained gluten, so I passed. I bought bresaola again, but that one is gluten free. The problem with today might be too much dairy. I am not completely sure I over did it. I will just have to wait and see.

My activity level today was limited to walking to the supermarket and back, so only a few blocks each way. In my defense I woke up at 6 am to see my dad off, and I had barely slept. So today I just lounged all day doing mostly nothing and sleeping. I really needed that.

Day 1 Attack - Starting with Spring

Morning Weigh-in: 77.4 kgs

Daily Loss: 0.4 kgs

Good news on my first weigh-in. I lost 400 grams before even starting the diet. My weight fluctuates a lot, so I am not really surprised, it is just more likely I was bloated when I stepped on the scale on saturday. 

The first day has been ok, until now. I am getting the 6pm angst. This is the time I normally reach for the carbs. I know I just need to be strong, cook something, eat something healthy, pure protein healthy. Not so easy because I have been reaching for gorgeous blood oranges these days when the hunger attacks, and now they are sadly off limits. I am sticking to my two yogurts a day, and also no more late night decaf non-fat lattes for me. 

Today is the first calendar day of spring, and I have been a bit stuck inside spending time with my dad who is visiting and not feeling too well. I would like to think I would have taken advantage of the beautiful day and taken a long fast walk, maybe even going as far as jogging, if he wasn't here. I am not sure that is 100% true though. 

I did manage to get him out of the house for a short stroll and to buy small easter eggs so he can take them to my niece who he is visiting next. Stopping at the piazza afterwards I did get to experience a bit of spring. It made me happy and gave me the hope for a new beginning.

Living without Wheat?

I, like many others, have been reading "Wheat Belly", the book by William Davis, MD, that talks about the evil that is modern "Triticum Aestivum", better known as wheat.

I must admit I only skimmed the super science-y stuff, and only read the parts that directly interested me. In a nut-shell, the book explains how wheat has been changed over the years to offer a more efficient higher-yielding crop, and that because of these changes, wheat consumption is the underlying cause of obesity, and different ailments including high blood pressure, triglycerides, diabetes, celiac disease and even the exacerbation of autism and schizophrenia.

As a Dukaneer, I have of course gone through a period of no-wheat consumption and I must say I have experienced the benefits the Dr describes. I am not the typical "Wheat Belly" case, as I don't collect fat around my abdomen, and I don't suffer any of the more serious ailments described in the book, but I am still in my mid-thirties, so if I continue consuming wheat I might just end up there. What I do know, and have known for a while, is that I am a "wheat addict". While on Dukan though, I experienced the relief of not needing to gorge on carbs at 6pm every night. I read on the Dukan book, as well as in many blogs, that reduced hunger and cravings were a result of "ketosis". "Wheat Belly" explains that once you give up wheat, you forgo the addiction and you no longer eat irrationally, but as a result of actual hunger.  Additionally, during the break from the diet I have returned to my usual ways, experiencing a void in the pit of my stomach that I wish to fill with carbs, but that can never really be filled. I also find it harder to get up in the morning and I am back to having morning headaches.

What now though? Knowing that wheat is not only the cause of my extra kilos but an evil, evil crop, am I really contemplating never eating anything containing wheat ever again? Is it even possible? As the book explains, wheat is in EVERYTHING, not only cookies, cereal and bread, it is in pills and soups, and many other processed foods. I must say I am definitely willing to give it a try, but I will have to wait for the Consolidation Phase to truly test my resolve. I do live in Italy after all. The good news is that pasta is made of "Triticum durum", which apparently is not as bad.

Getting Ready to Dukan

Having done the Dukan diet already I am taking a few days to get ready. That does NOT mean I am going crazy eating everything left and right. In fact, during my break I have not gone particularly overboard, except for those two days in Calabria... my family there tends to overfeed you, plus it is the best food you will ever have. In fact I pretty much think my 1.7 kgs surplus comes from just those two days.

The first step to get ready involves recalculating my program on the Dukan website. If I started today, this would be it, I just need to slide it down two days.

Looking at this, it kind of scares me I won't be done until next year!! But having already lost a few weeks of precious time, I think it is nothing compared to being and feeling like this any longer.

Hopefully the "Attack Phase" will really mean a loss of 2.2 kgs, I heard it isn't as effective the second time around.

My second step will be to buy all the necessary foods for my first week:

Eggs, non fat yogurt, low fat cottage cheese, bresaola. This time around I plan to buy my proteins on a daily basis at the butcher or fishmonger.  Also, this time around I will try to keep the dairy to the minimum as I KNOW I overdid it last time around, causing my plateau.

I am excited about getting back to this. During my "break" I tried other types of diets, but I find myself really needing the type of restrictions the Dukan Diet requires. I feel stronger on it. I just hope I won't be too exhausted during my Bootcamp class.

Hello Dukan, Again!

Long story short: I am fat. Overweight to be exact. Obese when I started Dukan in January.

I stopped because of a dairy induced plateau (I figured it out later) and a kitchen problem. After 3 weeks break and a 1.7 kgs gain, I am ready to get back to it.

I have my concerns of course. I am exercising for one, and on the other hand I am afraid of such massive protein consumption. But I should be done with Phase 1 & 2 by Mid-July, so I guess it won't be too bad.

This blog is to keep myself on track. Even if nobody reads it.

Estimated start date: Tuesday March 20th.