Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Where has the time gone? - Hiatus

Today's Weigh-in: 71.9 kgs
Lost since January 8th 2012: 9.1 kgs

I am back!!! Kind of!!! I have been not wanting to write on this blog for a while because I haven't been following the Dukan Diet since June. I have been busy, on vacation, sick, and just lazy. The good news, which seems to be what I am holding on to lately is.... I haven't gained weight!!! 

Actually I did gain weight during my vacation, but it went back down easily when I came home. What I think is a great accomplishment, and good news for people on Dukan, is that if you DO NOT GO CRAZY BINGE EATING, that it is not too hard to keep the weight off. You just need to be vigilant.

The Bad News is I haven't reached the 10 kgs mark yet. I am awfully close, but not there yet. So, that is the big goal now. I want to concentrate my efforts on that. I won't promise a date, neither to me or you. I won't force myself back on this diet, especially because I am in the process of moving and my dad is coming to visit this weekend. 

I will check back once I have reached my goal. 

Hope your diets are going great!! I have been reading the blogs and have seen some good advances and some minor set backs. The good thing is we are all still working at it. Which is what I consider really important.



Friday, June 15, 2012

Attack - Day 2

Today's Weigh-in: 72.2 kgs
Lost since January 8th 2012: 8.8 kgs

Yippie!!! Daily loss of 0.4 kgs!!! Not as much as previous attacks. But pretty good. I was good today too.. with a loooong walk as well. I hope for a loss for tomorrow. 

I think I am pretty much back on track. Moving to Cruise tomorrow. I decided for only 3 days of attack, and will go on with PV until my mom leaves. The bad news (good news too) is that I am going on a trip for 10 days on the 24th...  I will try my best to stay on track. Hopefully I can do what I did in India. For me it is somehow easier to control what I eat when I travel. I guess I am so busy that I eat less. I hope this will be the case on this trip as well.

I guess that the big lesson I learnt from this whole process, which Dukan allowed me, was to control myself. I am now able to eat a bit of something I like. I can have just a square of dark chocolate, and that is enough. I am not prone to binges. I think  that is important. Mostly because my body never allowed for it. My metabolism is so bad that what I would consider a binge, for most people is just a normal meal, or snack. I am learning to eat for my body type. Most of all though, my metabolism is improving due to the exercise. I think that is the most important thing. If you like to eat, then learn to move more. It can really allow for a more pleasurable balance. 

It is going slow, but it is going.. and that is what counts!!! 

How is your diet today?


Thursday, June 14, 2012

Attack - Day 1

Today's Weigh-in: 72.6 kgs
Lost since January 8th 2012: 8.4 kgs

Absolutely no loss on my first day. What???? I think I didn't drink enough water. I drank too much diet coke. It doesn't make much sense. But I don't care. I am in the middle of day 2 now. So far, so good. I even took my mom to buy some glorious pizza al taglio and I didn't mind at all. 

The thing is I also might be bloated. It's hot and humid here and we have been walking around a lot. I am not too worried. I am going to do a total of 3 days of Attack and then go into Cruise. 

How are your diets going?


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Hanging in there

Today's Weigh-in: 72.6 kgs
Lost since January 8th 2012: 8.4 kgs

I haven't been able to get back on the horse. I have been able to keep a stable weight though at 72.6 kgs. I know that when I came back from India I was at 71.6, but that wasn't a real weight, it was probably just product of not having really eaten for a couple of days. 

I am planning on going back. I plan every day. Truth is my will power is not that strong these days. It doesn't help that I feel really good at the weight I am at. Compared to what I felt like before. I am not saying I want to stay at this weight. I have sooo much to go. My mom is here though. She hasn't been to Italy for 4 years, and although she is super supportive of my diet, and quite obsessed with dieting herself (she needs to lose about 2kgs) I have wanted her to take advantage of her stay here. We are walking around a lot and we always have only veggies for dinner, and watch what we eat, but still, to lose weight I need to go back on Dukan. 

Mentally I am not in the right space. I know that it's not an excuse, Dukan DIetress even told me that, and she is right. I should just get back on track, no excuses. I am getting there. I will try tomorrow. For now I am really happy it has been a month and I am sticking to my weight. I guess that is always the biggest fear for when one stops being on a diet, and I am really proud of that, because once I do get to my target weight, I really feel now that I can stay there. 

WIll update tomorrow, hopefully with good news, and with the first day of attack behind me. How is everyone else's dieting?


Monday, May 21, 2012

Day ?

Today's Weigh-in: ?
Lost since January 8th 2012: around 9 kilos

I haven't been able to get the hang of things. I am not OUT of the diet, but I am not IN a diet either. I don't really  know how to get back to being strict. I am eating healthy, definitely low-carb, but I am not following a strict Dos and Don'ts list, which has me feeling out of it. The good news is that even feeling like this I am holding on to the loss and maybe even advancing a bit, especially with the exercise. But I have the feeling it isn't successful if it isn't following some sort of strict diet. 

How do I get back on track? I guess it will come to me. I know what the diet state of mind is, and I am definitely not in it. I know it will come around; I will snap out of whatever mood I am now eventually, especially when I get through with this nasty head cold. 

So, please bare with me while I navigate these uncertain waters. How are your diets going?

btw: I have been on a Dukan 2.0 for 2 months now, although I think I will put the counter back to zero when I get back in the mood. Official start date will always be Jan 8.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Day 58 - Eating less

Today's Weigh-in: 71.6 kgs
Lost since January 8th 2012: 9.4 kgs

I cannot believe how close I am to the half-way mark. It is a weird feeling. Being so happy to have worked this hard to accomplish something I really wanted, but then also knowing there is so much more to go. I haven't been very good about following Dukan strictly since I got back. I haven't gotten the strength or will-power to be strict. I do have a little of a post-travel flu, which has me basically bed-ridden and tired. In fact the reason I have probably lost 1 more kilo since I got back is because I have not eaten much. 

I have bootcamp class tomorrow and I really want to go, so I need to get back to health and then go back to a more strict set of rules. I must say that it has been nice losing weight eating anything I want. They way it worked was just that I wasn't hungry so I would eat just a little bit of something I wanted, that's it. I wish I could say I could keep this up all the way to my goal-weight, but since I know that it is unlikely, then I need to put some structure to my dieting. 

We will see how that goes! For now I am happy with the results!!! 

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Day 56? - Back from India

Today's Weigh-in: 72.6 kgs
Lost since January 8th 2012: 8.4 kgs

Hello all!!! I am back from vacation. Possibly one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences of my life. Still trying to figure it all out and digest it. I don't have words for the emotions this trip has given me. They do say India is a magical place, I had no clue just how much it would mean for me. 

The other good thing is I lost weight! Not too much. Just around 2 kgs. But that isn't bad, considering I wasn't sick or anything. So YIPPIE!!!!

I have to go to the supermarket and back for more Dukan. I am even more committed than I was before I left. I guess it is from reaching another mini-goal and being so close to mid-way!! Only 1.6 kilos to go to a 10 kgs loss!!!

Now I am just looking forward to reading what everyone else has been up to and all the progress that has been going on!


Saturday, April 28, 2012

Day 40 Cruise - Unscheduled diet break

I still haven't gone below the 74, but it doesn't surprise me since I haven't really been able to follow any kind of diet for the past two days. I don't feel bad, it wasn't a situation I could control in any way, so I ate what was available. I didn't over eat, I didn't binge, I just ate outside of the diet. 
Today it is back to normal. I couldn't start the little attack I wanted yesterday, and I do not have any food in the house today, so I will have to do it for only two days.

a beautiful day
There is just one thing I realized, which makes me happy. I have not been moving towards my goal really fast, there have been hiccups along the way, but the frame of mind I am in is what tells me that I will continue. I don't think, well since I already lost two days what is the point? I know I am on a diet until I reach my end goal. It doesn't matter if there is an unscheduled detour, or if I go on vacation, or if I just fall off the wagon. I am in this for the long haul. 

This feeling gives me hope, because I don't think I had ever had such determination or commitment to losing weight. On Monday I start bootcamp again, even if it will be interrupted by my trip, but then I will continue full force.

Hope everyone else is having a healthy day!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Day 36 Cruise - out of it

I weighed myself this morning, but I don't remember the number. It isn't the real thing anyway. I have been feeling out of sorts all weekend, and it has continued on through the beginning of the week. 
I kind of hate how my body behaves this part of the month. I went to an endocrinologist last year and she said that all the symptoms I had would disappear if I lost 10% of my body weight. I went to her because I didn't seem able to lose weight, no matter what, so you can tell she didn't believe me and also that she was no help at all. 
I am almost at that 10% loss, I haven't really gotten there  yet. I am about 1 kilo away. I am not feeling defeated, I am not feeling like I want to give up, not at all. I am just feeling depressed. It probably doesn't even have anything to do with the diet. It is just the way it is. Hopefully at the 10% loss and beyond I will start feeling I have even more control over my body, no matter what day in the monthly cycle I am on. 
I am going on a 10 day trip next week, and I am probably going to stray from the strictness of the diet. I will be walking all day though, waking early, going to bed late. I am positive I won't gain weight, I just hope I can lose some. Before I go I am going on a mini attack. Maybe 3 days starting this Friday. 
It is TOTM soon, and I know my body is already getting ready to piss me off. 
What a complicated relationship we have!
Hope everyone else is having beautiful days of careless dieting!

Friday, April 20, 2012

Day 32 Cruise - 1 Month!

Today's Weigh-in: 74 kgs
Lost since January 8th 2012: 7 kgs
Lost since March 20th: 3.7 kgs

Today it has been a month! My first month on Dukan Diet 2.0 and I have lost 3.7 kgs, which is a bit below my 4 kgs a month goal, but still not totally despicable. My first time around on Dukan, before I had to take a break due to the fact I basically didn't have a kitchen and then my dad came to visit, I lasted 41 days and lost 4.4 kgs. During my break I put some of that back on, but it rapidly came off when I started Dukan 2.0. 

This months has been LONG! It is not the diet I mind, I have been on a diet for most of my life in one way or another. Even when I wasn't I was thinking that I had to be, so it would be the same thing. I like being on a diet because at least I am in control. It just feels long because I am way impatient, I wanna be thinner NOW, I wanna look good NOW. 

It is not that being thinner will make my life easier. There is a lot I need to fix to make myself happy, but losing weight is definitely a conduit. I have a LOT to fix, just because I am sort of aimless right now. I don't have a clue what I am doing with my life, and it doesn't seem like I will get a solution any time soon, but at least I do have a goal now. The way I think of it is, even if I didn't do much with 2012, let it at least be the year when I lost those annoying and self-deprecating 20 kilos. 

Those 20 kilos have been weighing me down in more ways than the obvious. I have been hiding behind being fat, as if it wasn't my fault. I couldn't help it, I didn't even eat that much. And part of that is true, it doesn't take much to make me gain weight, but it shouldn't be an excuse. Some of it wasn't my fault, and part of what wasn't my fault got fixed and now I have no excuses. I can't keep on blaming my life on things I can't control, nor keep on hiding from life, just because I don't feel pretty. 

I know that a big part of my insecurities have come from gaining weight, but not all of them. So this will be the year I lose the 20 kilos of fat, but also the 20 kilos of insecurities and self blame. I am 35% there, can't wait to see what the next 65% will bring.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Day 31 Cruise - Naughty but nice

Today's Weigh-in: 74.1 kgs
Lost since January 8th 2012: 6.9 kgs

First of all, I am no longer tracking gains. They make me sad and they are not really gains. It takes as much work to gain weight as it does to take it off. I mean, not exactly. It is much easier to eat all you want than controlling what you eat, but you don't gain a kilo over-night unless you really really over did it. Drs and Nutritionists say it takes 3500 calories to gain a pound. So if to maintain you would eat 2000 calories, it means you would have to take in 5500 calories in one day to gain a pound, which isn't even half a kilo. 

If you are behaving, a gain could be anything, it isn't real. If you are misbehaving then it is another story. The only reason I still think it is good to weigh yourself each day, is to keep track of these fluctuations. You might be doing something wrong without knowing. Maybe that cheese you bought has more calories than you thought. Maybe, the meat you bought is more fatty. You might be taking in too much salt, eating too much yogurt. The important thing is that the scale keeps you honest. So, even if it takes a LOT to gain a pound over night, it doesn't take that much to gain it over a few days.

Palazzo Barberini, from my sight-seeing on Sunday
I am saying all this because I had a naughty day. It was brought on by not having lunch and going sightseeing for hours, so I bought a piece of pizza al taglio on my way home because I was starving. The thing is, later that night I wasn't even hungry anymore, but I had some speck which is smoked prosciutto. It wasn't that bad if you count the calories consumed that day, but you can tell it is just bad behavior brought on by bad behavior. Plus, speck is really really salty, so I suffered some bloating the days after. 

The bad thing is not that I fell off the wagon, it is the thought process behind the falling off the wagon. I just wanted to misbehave. I was almost masochistic about it. In any case it is over with. I got it out of my system and I am back on track. It just makes you wonder, the hoarding mentality, of thinking, well I screwed up, I might as well eat all I can find now. Ok, I didn't eat all I could find, but I thought about it. 

I honestly believe a few cheat meals are not a bad idea. They actually give your body a jolt, especially when you hit a plateau. When they are rational, when they are planned, when they are controlled, it is not bad to eat something not in the diet. Not often. Not more than once a week, preferably much less than that. What kind of scared me was that I didn't care about myself when I made the decision of eating more. I wasn't hungry. Eating the pizza isn't what bothers me, I can deal with that and not feel guilty. It was what came after. That is what is dangerous for a diet. 

The important thing is not to feel defeated by one mishap. The goal is so much more important than anything else. If you are on this journey it is because it really matters. If you are really willing to lose the weight, the bigger picture is what counts. Your weight will fluctuate, you will be happy some days, less happy others, but if you keep at it, if it is really more important to you to lose weight than to eat a piece of pizza, you will get back on track and you will lose the weight. 

One more thing, I got a massive headache the day after I had the pizza. I guess it was the wheat. Crazy how I went back to eating right and it was gone. 

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Day 27 Cruise - My body and I

Today's Weigh-in: 74.5 kgs
Lost since January 8th 2012: 6.5 kgs

We all know how it goes: you lose a bit, you stop, you linger, you bounce, you push, you lose again. 
It is starting to feel normal. Almost a month into this second diet stint and I am getting used to it. I wake up every morning, look at the scale, and I already know before getting on it where the scale is going to go. I know if I am due a loss, or just a linger, or maybe even a slight gain. 
The good and happy feeling I get is that I am finally able to connect to my body. Ever since I started having issues with my thyroid I stopped knowing what my body would do. I don't think there is anything worse than feeling removed from yourself. Not knowing how your actions are going to result on your body is frightening. Having no control is frightening. Ever since I was prescribed T3 though I have been more in control. I am able to diet and lose weight. I no longer starve myself only to see myself gaining weight. 
It has been a hit and miss for sure. I had to re-learn to communicate with my body and finally I think we are having a nice relationship. I promised to treat my body well, and it has responded by looking better in the mirror. We are happy.