Today's Weigh-in: 74 kgs
Lost since January 8th 2012: 7 kgs
Lost since March 20th: 3.7 kgs
Today it has been a month! My first month on Dukan Diet 2.0 and I have lost 3.7 kgs, which is a bit below my 4 kgs a month goal, but still not totally despicable. My first time around on Dukan, before I had to take a break due to the fact I basically didn't have a kitchen and then my dad came to visit, I lasted 41 days and lost 4.4 kgs. During my break I put some of that back on, but it rapidly came off when I started Dukan 2.0.
This months has been LONG! It is not the diet I mind, I have been on a diet for most of my life in one way or another. Even when I wasn't I was thinking that I had to be, so it would be the same thing. I like being on a diet because at least I am in control. It just feels long because I am way impatient, I wanna be thinner NOW, I wanna look good NOW.
It is not that being thinner will make my life easier. There is a lot I need to fix to make myself happy, but losing weight is definitely a conduit. I have a LOT to fix, just because I am sort of aimless right now. I don't have a clue what I am doing with my life, and it doesn't seem like I will get a solution any time soon, but at least I do have a goal now. The way I think of it is, even if I didn't do much with 2012, let it at least be the year when I lost those annoying and self-deprecating 20 kilos.
Those 20 kilos have been weighing me down in more ways than the obvious. I have been hiding behind being fat, as if it wasn't my fault. I couldn't help it, I didn't even eat that much. And part of that is true, it doesn't take much to make me gain weight, but it shouldn't be an excuse. Some of it wasn't my fault, and part of what wasn't my fault got fixed and now I have no excuses. I can't keep on blaming my life on things I can't control, nor keep on hiding from life, just because I don't feel pretty.
I know that a big part of my insecurities have come from gaining weight, but not all of them. So this will be the year I lose the 20 kilos of fat, but also the 20 kilos of insecurities and self blame. I am 35% there, can't wait to see what the next 65% will bring.
Lost since March 20th: 3.7 kgs
This months has been LONG! It is not the diet I mind, I have been on a diet for most of my life in one way or another. Even when I wasn't I was thinking that I had to be, so it would be the same thing. I like being on a diet because at least I am in control. It just feels long because I am way impatient, I wanna be thinner NOW, I wanna look good NOW.
It is not that being thinner will make my life easier. There is a lot I need to fix to make myself happy, but losing weight is definitely a conduit. I have a LOT to fix, just because I am sort of aimless right now. I don't have a clue what I am doing with my life, and it doesn't seem like I will get a solution any time soon, but at least I do have a goal now. The way I think of it is, even if I didn't do much with 2012, let it at least be the year when I lost those annoying and self-deprecating 20 kilos.
Those 20 kilos have been weighing me down in more ways than the obvious. I have been hiding behind being fat, as if it wasn't my fault. I couldn't help it, I didn't even eat that much. And part of that is true, it doesn't take much to make me gain weight, but it shouldn't be an excuse. Some of it wasn't my fault, and part of what wasn't my fault got fixed and now I have no excuses. I can't keep on blaming my life on things I can't control, nor keep on hiding from life, just because I don't feel pretty.
I know that a big part of my insecurities have come from gaining weight, but not all of them. So this will be the year I lose the 20 kilos of fat, but also the 20 kilos of insecurities and self blame. I am 35% there, can't wait to see what the next 65% will bring.
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