Day 36 Cruise - out of it

I weighed myself this morning, but I don't remember the number. It isn't the real thing anyway. I have been feeling out of sorts all weekend, and it has continued on through the beginning of the week. 

I kind of hate how my body behaves this part of the month. I went to an endocrinologist last year and she said that all the symptoms I had would disappear if I lost 10% of my body weight. I went to her because I didn't seem able to lose weight, no matter what, so you can tell she didn't believe me and also that she was no help at all. 

I am almost at that 10% loss, I haven't really gotten there  yet. I am about 1 kilo away. I am not feeling defeated, I am not feeling like I want to give up, not at all. I am just feeling depressed. It probably doesn't even have anything to do with the diet. It is just the way it is. Hopefully at the 10% loss and beyond I will start feeling I have even more control over my body, no matter what day in the monthly cycle I am on. 

I am going on a 10 day trip next week, and I am probably going to stray from the strictness of the diet. I will be walking all day though, waking early, going to bed late. I am positive I won't gain weight, I just hope I can lose some. Before I go I am going on a mini attack. Maybe 3 days starting this Friday. 

It is TOTM soon, and I know my body is already getting ready to piss me off. 

What a complicated relationship we have!

Hope everyone else is having beautiful days of careless dieting!

Day 27 Cruise - My body and I

Today's Weigh-in: 74.5 kgs

Lost since January 8th 2012: 6.5 kgs


We all know how it goes: you lose a bit, you stop, you linger, you bounce, you push, you lose again. 
It is starting to feel normal. Almost a month into this second diet stint and I am getting used to it. I wake up every morning, look at the scale, and I already know before getting on it where the scale is going to go. I know if I am due a loss, or just a linger, or maybe even a slight gain. 
The good and happy feeling I get is that I am finally able to connect to my body. Ever since I started having issues with my thyroid I stopped knowing what my body would do. I don't think there is anything worse than feeling removed from yourself. Not knowing how your actions are going to result on your body is frightening. Having no control is frightening. Ever since I was prescribed T3 though I have been more in control. I am able to diet and lose weight. I no longer starve myself only to see myself gaining weight. 
It has been a hit and miss for sure. I had to re-learn to communicate with my body and finally I think we are having a nice relationship. I promised to treat my body well, and it has responded by looking better in the mirror. We are happy. 

Day 21 Cruise - 2.6 kgs in 3 weeks

Morning Weigh-in: 75.1 kgs

Weekly Loss: 0.0 kgs

I haven't posted my weight in a while, I didn't want the influence of my "cycle" on my weight to be a deterrent to my journey. I know how hard it is for me to lose weight, I was just expecting a bigger loss than 2.5 kgs in 3 weeks. However it might be a result of all the exercise I have been doing. Fat percentage this morning was 35.8%, which is one percentage point less than last week. So since I am at the same weight I was last monday, it would mean I lost 750 grams of fat. I will take that, even if I don't trust the fat readings in my scale. I think it will be very good in the long run, when differences will be bigger and not affected by changes in water retention and other things that might affect the readings.

The other day I read that slow metabolizers (me) should avoid dairy all together, while carbs are not so bad for us. I do think dairy is bad for me, and I am trying to have it only in the morning. Maybe I should try to avoid it altogether, although it is very, very hard for me. Nothing means morning more than my non fat latte. But who knows, if it is that detrimental for me, I might be able to live without it! 

I am not on the other side of my TOM yet, so I still have hope I will see a Whoosh this week and that it will be the extra jolt I need to keep going and keep pushing. I am so determined, that even the scale isn't able to make me frown. I hadn't felt like this in a long time. I do see a difference in the mirror, I see a difference in my clothes. I feel better too and I am very much energized by the exercise. This is who I want to be. I want to continue exercising after the weight is gone, I want to continue to eat right after the weight is gone. So whatever the scale says I will keep on going, but I would be lying if I said I don't hope for a big whoosh every morning. I also wish I were a more patient woman, but maybe that is another lesson I need to learn on this journey.